#“Apple to unveil revolutionary upgrade to multi-touch on iPad 3”
In response to many complaints from users of the iPad 2 that the 8finger-2thumb gesture to switch between Apps was too simplistic, we can exclusively reveal that Apple will shortly announce their Multi-Toe Interface.
Recent research has shown that 82% of iPad usage is on the sofa in front of the TV. Apple further discovered that over 73% of people watch TV with their shoes off. New CEO Tim Cook joined the dots and Multi-Toe was born.
Now you can simulate the Android Back button by simply applying both hands and feet to the iPad simultaneously. Milton Bradley has already announced support in their upcoming iTwister game.
Rumours are also swirling that the follow-up iPad 4 will come with Bum-Touch where ass-dialling becomes a feature, not a bug.